just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
