lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
