They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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