we're blogging at a bar
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
