it hurts more in the daytime
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize