maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
