Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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