clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
