How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Houston, we have a blender
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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