"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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