i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
