Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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