3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
