At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
