can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
