seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize