false alarm. still invincible.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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