She is in my trunk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
