i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
