i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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