Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
