Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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