she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
