My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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