yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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