Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
