Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize