That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
