Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy