At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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