why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
