I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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