she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
