there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize