I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
