I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
