marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
nutella sex= disaster
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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