I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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