I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
