hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
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i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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