Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
