fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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