Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
