Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
