I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
