Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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