community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
