you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize