We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
