i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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