Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
