Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
