i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
