Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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